Archive for rant – Page 2

Parent paranoia…

By admin · Comments (0)
Tuesday, February 28th, 2012

Now that Mama has shared all about the muffin top that has taken over Mama’s life…it’s time to share a little more. No more about body parts…which, by the way, Mama was forced to break down and buy some new pants this last weekend because as Lily-girl and Mama were running some errands…Mama’s pants split. Just to add to the humiliation. However, Mama is chalking up this one solely to the fact that they get worn every other day and have finally just worn too thin. It’s so nice to know that, one, you all are going through or have been through this too and, two, the fact that people actually read and listen to Mama’s ramblings is so surprising — thank you to each and every one of you!

So now on to the other thing that has been consuming Mama’s life — parent paranoia. Mama never watches the news anymore in the morning because we’re always in a race for time to get to school, feed the baby…you know the routine…however, yesterday Mama decided to turn it on to check the weather (awesome storm by the way) and instead sits watching another school shooting. REALLY?! 

Then two weeks ago Lily-girl’s school went on lock-down for 15 minutes while they searched for a gunman in the area. WHAT?! Luckily, it turned out to be a transient in the area that they thought was armed — he wasn’t. But what if he was? They sent out an e-mail to the parents about the lock-down and then another e-mail 15 minutes later lifting it.

This week also starts the trail of the guy that went on a shooting rampage at a local elementary school last year. For what reason…no-one really knows.

Then everyday Mama is forced to sit through commercials of shows like Law & Order SVU and new movies coming out like, Gone, where children just disappear or are stolen and tortured in the night. Why…why would anyone in their right mind want to have the crap scared out of them about their children going missing in the night????

Then last week was the real life fairytale and happy ending for dear Elizabeth Smart. A survivor and a hero among us that she survived that horrible nightmare of being stolen in the night, abused mentally and sexually and now is doing all she can to help others.

Is it just Mama or does everyone come to a point where they are completely paranoid to drop their children off at school or close the door at night while they’re sleeping?!

We live in the suburbs for goodness sake, a safe neighborhood, but so do the people of Chardon, Ohio. A little suburb of 5,000 people where everyone knew everyone. Then someone snaps…now 2 students have been killed and 3 are injured and all those parents did were drop their kids off at school that day.

Of course we could play what if scenarios all day and night and we can’t have our children live in a bubble but sometimes on days like this…it’s just paranoia. You want to hold them close and explain to them again the danger of strangers.

Don’t ever get in a car with someone you don’t know (except with your Mama or Daddy).

Don’t ever take candy from strangers (except at the bank, grocery store or Trick-or-treating).

Don’t talk to strangers (except those in uniform and then again…ask to see their badge).

There are always exceptions to the rule but we might be confusing our kids…however, it would be devastating not to allow them the lollipop at the bank or take them trick-or-treating. Mama’s heart is breaking for those parents that have lost their children to these violent acts. While Mama is not going to go after the NRA here, but it seems that these guns are getting into the wrong hands. The “Right to Bear Arms” was put into the constitution in 1789 — don’t you think the world has changed since then?! Maybe just a little…It’s also our Natural Constitutional Right to not be killed, hurt or injured. Hmmm…how do we enact this one Mamas?!

The moral of the story…it’s okay to have Parent Paranoia because unfortunately, it’s the world we live in. However, just remember that when your child has the meltdown of all meltdowns in Target today for that TOY that they just have to have…give-in, hug them, kiss them and tell them that you LOVE them and you will make the world a better place for them in that moment!

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Belly Badge of Honor…?!

By admin · Comments (11)
Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012

Note: This is NOT Mama but it sure looks like it!

It totally happened. You never think it will happen to you. And then it does.

Mama innocently walks into the fitness studio to take the barre class that I’m currently obsessed with and the class is semi-full and it seems as if everyone is staring at Mama. Why? Well…aren’t all women staring at each other in a mirrored fitness class?! It’s bad enough that everyone is super skinny and toned and Mama just looks like how you should after having a baby…a poochy tummy and huge boobs. But that is exactly why Mama has been dedicated for the past seven weeks since clearance from the doc to go to class three times a week.

So it goes like this…

Mama: “Hi!”

Fitness instructor (note, with a smile and excited): “Hi! So tell me…how many weeks pregnant are you?”

CRICKETS AND STARES FROM ALL WOMEN IN THE ROOM (they were probably all wondering the same thing…right?!).

Mama: “Well, my baby is 12 weeks. Thank you!”

Mama wanted to die of humiliation but instead chalked it up as a funny moment because really…what else does one do when faced with the fact that your stomach does in fact still look pregnant after 12 weeks?!

So really, you hear of this happening but until it happens to exactly you there is just no comparison. She really did feel bad and Mama for sure wanted to curl up and die right there on the spot but worse than that, Mama is now caught up with thinking that everywhere Mama turns someone is thinking the same thing — when is she due?

One friend chalked it up as a “badge of honor” for having had three kids. It’s there and it might never go away! Mama hates this theory — Mama does NOT WANT this badge of honor and there has to be something…something…anything to make this poochy go away.

Another friend swears by breastfeeding. Mama breastfeeds! But this is clearly a myth and one chalked up to pure genetics. Mama is no Heidi Klum or Jessica Alba…this breastfeeding to lose weight thing is for the birds.

Yet another friend swears by running to get off the extra pounds. Uh…running?! Doesn’t going up and down the stairs in the house 5o times a day count as cardio? Mama is so, so NOT a runner. Have you ever tried to run with size 34G milk-filled breasts? Try it and then get back to Mama on whether or not you want to suggest running.

What about that Belly Bandit thing that Brooke Burke swears by? It’s a compression belt that squeezes everything in so you can’t breathe. Exactly that — you can’t breathe and it has to be the most uncomfortable thing on the planet. No thank you.

Then Mama’s Mama calls and says that she heard on the Dr.Oz Show (did Mama ever tell you that Mama’s Mama is obsessed with everything she sees and hears on TV and that it is the absolute TRUTH to everything) that avocado blasts belly fat away. Really? Mama loves avocados…what a great idea! Four bowls of guacamole and chips later…Mama looks down and the pooch has gotten bigger. This is so not the way to lose this thing.

What will make this pooch go away? Mama doesn’t remember it being this hard after Baby Boy…everything just kind-of melted. With Lily-girl it was a little bit harder but Mama was more accepting at that point that the “girlish” body Mama once had was now giving way to the “womanly” child-rearing body of today. More hips, more belly and more boobs.

So now Mama is still faced with this Kangaroo sized pooch that is so obvious to now everyone. Not to mention that there are currently only four pairs of pants that fit in Mama’s closet (and two of them are Juicy sweats). Mama tried to deny the fact that this happening and has refused to buy any bigger jeans or pants but the muffin top currently resting on the top of Mama’s thighs says differently. People probably think Mama is fashion-challenged these days. It’s true, it’s true…the pink denim jeans that Mama wanted will not go with this muffin top so Mama has taken to fashion hibernation in hopes to blend the belly not enhance it.

So what say you Mamas…is having a baby belly a badge of honor? How did you lose the baby weight (no-one mention running…please!)?

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Random acts of kindness…

By admin · Comments (3)
Monday, February 20th, 2012

First off, how did one week go by without Mama sharing with you the ups and downs of New York Fashion Week and all the woes of parenting three very unruly kids (actually only two are unruly these days…)?! It’s amazing how fast time flies because now that V-day has passed for yet another year, we can move onto celebrating Mardi Gras tomorrow and prepare for the Lenten season. Which reminds Mama…what are you going to give up for 40 days and 40 nights? Or perhaps we should look at it another way this year…not giving something up but rather doing more random acts of kindness throughout the Lenten season.

Let’s look at a scenario where a random act of kindness would have been appreciated…With three kids in tow you can imagine how tough it can be just to get into a store because obviously both Mama’s hands are tied up (thank goodness for automatic doors) but in this case the store did not have an automatic door and Mama was struggling to get the double stroller inside and it was too heavy for Lily-girl to hold. The women in front of us did not hold open the door for Mama. Instead she looked at us and slammed it in our face and hoped to get a head start in the store before we did. Not only was it the rudeness thing on earth but really…Mama bets she has grandkids — would she have done that to her daughter and her grandkids?! If she would have just held the door open…it would have made Mama’s day that much better.

Scenario #2: Mama forgot it was “Smoothie Day” at Lily-girl’s school and a parent overheard Mama say she forgot the $2 and she promptly went into her car and gave Mama the $2…no questions asked. How nice was that?! Of course Mama will return the $2 but it was the thought in the moment that counted.

Scenario #3: Mama and the kids were at the Wild Animal Park and a little girl started throwing up on the sidewalk all over herself and all over her dad. Mama without another thought dug into the diaper bag and gave him a burp cloth (clean!) to clean himself and her off. It wasn’t much but Mama is sure he appreciated it at that moment in time while smelling like a barfed up bag of cotton candy….again, it’s the small things that matter the most.

While these were just a few small gestures that have happened in the last week, Mama is pretty sure that the world is in need of more small random gestures of kindness. Too many times we are too busy with our noses in our phones, too busy corralling kids and too busy minding our own business that we don’t give enough attention to those around us. That’s what Mama is pledging to do this Lenten season…more acts of kindness…what do you think? Are you on board to do a few random acts of kindness of your own…?

So then Mama started looking into what’s happening in the community around us. More often than not we live in our own little bubble and rarely venture out. It’s rare that a Mama gets to even watch the news anymore in the morning and instead gets to hear Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or Sesame Street on constant repeat. However Mama was blessed with 15 minute solid minutes of time to catch up on the news of the day on Saturday morning and caught a glimpse of The Harlem Globetrotters visiting Rancho Bernardo High School as part of Howard Johnson’s hotel brand’s 2012 Give Happy Challenge. Student athletes were selected to participate in a series of challenges against the Harlem Globetrotters for a chance to win $2,500 for their school. The school won the money and they also got tickets to the Harlem Globetrotters show this past weekend….another AWESOME.

First off, the students could probably could care less about the money…as awesome as it is…but the chance to play on the basketball court with players as TALL and as great as The Harlem Globetrotters — SQUEE! How fun is that?! Now while it may not be a completely random act of kindness, it is a once in a lifetime opportunity and it goes to show your kids that if you put your mind to something…perhaps you’ll get to meet some famous players like The Harlem Globetrotters or….who knows…Donald Trump (Celebrity Apprentice premiered again last night)?!

The Harlem Globetrotters are great role models for kids which is hard to come by these days when so many celebrities are tied up with drugs and many, many personal issues (Lohan anyone?!) so it was great to have them in this community sharing a positive message. Which gets Mama thinking…which celebrities would you want to show up at your kid’s school?

 

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The philosophy of shopping…

By admin · Comments (3)
Thursday, February 2nd, 2012

Take it from Mama…shopping is completely a mind game on the part of the retailers. Perhaps it’s just because Mama is fuming today over another shopping fiasco (believe it or not…it did not involve Mama’s children) but Mama has had enough of these mind games. It’s time to beat them at their own game. Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Free Shipping Weekend…it’s all a gimmick to get YOU and MAMA to believe that you’re getting a great deal when in fact, you’re not. Let’s dissect the shopping world for a few minutes so you begin to understand how to beat them at their own game…

Group Deal Sites — aren’t you sick of them yet? Everyday there is a new one popping up promising you the BEST and most DIVERSE deals in your area. Yeah right…Mama has seen it all from deals on tattoos to things that Mama loved buying like the one from Shabby Apple (from which brings this fuming post by the way…!) to buy wonderful and beautiful clothing at a deep discount. Here’s the problem — the expiration dates and the hoops one must jump through to redeem them. Mama is one of those last minute deal users. For example, Mama tried to redeem her voucher for Shabby Apple on December 31, 2011. The expiration date was for December 31, 2011. YES…Mama made it! Oh…not so fast or so easy…coupon code says it’s already expired! GRRRRR!!!! This is not the first time this has happened when trying to redeem a voucher on the said expiration date (what can Mama say…Mama lives for deadlines!). So Mama e-mailed the deal company for which it was purchased from…their response, “Not our problem, contact the company!” Huh?! So Mama e-mails the company and doesn’t hear back for almost a week. They extended Mama’s coupon which ended  January 31, 2012. Mama tries to redeem it on the deadline that it was extended to and guess what…YOUR VOUCHER HAS EXPIRED appears on Mama’s screen! GRRRRRRRR….does one give up or keep trying in this instance. So companies, if you give a deadline — STICK TO IT!!! **Mama must say that after contacting Shabby Apple’s customer service again, they did honor Mama’s vouchers — great customer service on their part…not so much on the deal site’s end. Moral of the story — don’t stock up on the deals just because it’s a good deal — they will come again and only buy things you know you’ll use immediately!

One more left in stock — impulse buying! This is totally psychological. Flash sale sites are notorious for this method labeling things like only 4 in stock or putting a 15 minute time limit on your cart. It makes you just push the BUY button instead of taking the time to decide you don’t actually need it. Mama fell into this trap last week buying a diaper bag that was so not needed but there was only ONE left. Mama is trying so hard to be good and not fall into the limited quantity trap but it’s so hard! Moral of the story — don’t fall into the limited quantity trap. If you find it one place, you’ll find it at another too and maybe even at a better price!

The season before it’s needed — this is where Mama always gets into trouble. We’re still in the middle of winter and yet, spring clothing is upon us and so is Easter decor and it’s not even Valentine’s Day yet. So when you go to Target a week before Valentine’s Day, you know that there won’t be anything left. So you stock up and stock up and then…you can’t remember what you have already bought so you end up with so much stuff. It’s the story of Mama’s life! It’s no wonder we’re busting at the seams. That and well…Mama intends to make all these crafty-crafts with Lily-girl and then time always slips away from us. Moral of the story — take inventory before you shop…do you NEED IT? Do you WANT it? Usually it’s always WANT!

How else do they get you to spend? Well, it’s the sale thing…25 percent off, 40 percent off, FREE SHIPPING, Clearance…it’s everywhere all the time and you always think you’re getting a good deal…unless, they actually mark-up the price before the sale?! Ha, that’s how they get us, isn’t it!

So what did Mama buy anyways that sparked this lovely little rant…well, let’s see…

With Mama’s deal coupons…Bon Voyage Dress, $78, at

And this one too…because one wasn’t enough! El Mar Dress, $66, at

Then there was the diaper bag…OpenSky.com is great at getting you to impulse buy (only one left!), Yummy Mummy Diaper Bag from Pink Lining UK, marked down to $69 from $129! Although, they are having a pretty good sale :)

What have you bought lately that you just couldn’t resist because of the great price?

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The SAHM Curse…!

By admin · Comments (0)
Tuesday, January 17th, 2012

Let Mama start out by saying that one is extremely lucky to in the position to be a SAHM (stay-at-home-mama). It’s one of life’s most rewarding and most difficult jobs but it’s nice to have that time to be there to see your children each and every day discover the ways of the world. They are the future of the world and as a SAHM you have a large part in how their future turns out as well. However, all stay-at-home Mamas are cursed. HOW? Well, let Mama explain…

People seem to forget that we were once working women — “career women” — at that. At least Mama was…correction IS! Most people that don’t know Mama’s ins-and-outs don’t realize how much Mama does besides just being a Mama. Mama besides taking care of the three littles, also runs a PR and event business, is a freelance writer for several other sides besides this one and manages to volunteer at Lily-girl’s school. It’s okay – Mama loves to busy and use her talents to the fullest. Being a SAHM, people assume that it means that Mama can sew, cook and vacuum better than the next. Not true in this case….Mama does everything that a working mom does except Mama is lucky enough to be able to do it from the comfort of home in pajamas if needed.

Mama can plan a champagne-taste event from A to Z on a Two-Buck Chuck budget in half the amount of time as someone without this experience. Mama can is quite crafty and can usually come up with something to make the centerpieces with in no time flat. Need tickets for an auction? No problem — let Mama call in a favor from one of the many PR people in town that Mamas knows. This is stuff Mama can do…however, most people don’t know this. They assume that all Mama does is be a Mama and this…this is the curse of the SAHM — People assume that it’s all that you are.

So while some Mamas are quite happy to hand out “mommy cards” touting their cute e-mail addresses and phone numbers above the self-given title “Jack’s Mama,” Mama rather go beyond that and find out who they really are and what they can bring to the table. Mama learned the hard way of the SAHM curse earlier this year when volunteering at Lily-girl’s school…is Mama not vocal enough about what Mama can do other than bake cookies for a bake sale and be a member of the carpool (of course, Mama does not want them to find about Mama HERE…yikes!)?!

Then there’s the thought that other Mamas are afraid of being overshadowed in their own social circles by a newcomer Mama. If one has planned the dance/auction/graduation/whatever event it may be previously and this new Mama does a fabulous job and everyone raves about it — now what?! She feels bad and is pushed out for next year…maybe it’s best not to let anyone else do anything. Mamas are always competing against other Mamas. When we dress-up, it’s not for our husbands or partners — nope, it’s for the other women to show them how good we CAN look beyond the carpool! Men could care less…especially when you’ve married as long as most of us have been.

Or it could be that once you actually speak up about your talents and people catch wind…you’re wrangled for EVERY event and function to coordinate and execute — that is NOT what Mama is volunteering at this time. So it really is a curse to be a SAHM or a WAHM. Believe Mama…there are many days when working from an office far away from the kids sounds so amazing but in the end, Mama knows that she is a much better time manager when juggling three kids. It takes talent to be able to multi-task like that and just because Mama rather write and land a great media hit than trying out a new casserole recipe doesn’t mean that anything but that…however, Mama is still cursed!

Do you ever feel like your talents are overlooked as a SAHM?

By the way, that is a REAL doll that you can order and Mama thinks it’s a great gift for any Super Mama! SuperMom Action Figure, $16, at happyworker.com – just to remind yourself how wonderful you are at multi-tasking.

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My philosophy is simple: just because you're a mom doesn't mean you have to forgo style or your life. You can do it all with a little help from Mama. Mama makes life easier by doing all the shopping, crafting and ranting for you because really...what Mama has the time for that?! Mama will not lie, I can bake but if you're looking for cooking tips you might be better off going someplace else!

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