Archive for parenting

The truth about poop…

So Mama is just going to throw this out there…literally…poop has been ruling Mama’s life for the past six years.

The other day Mama ran into a girlfriend that Mama hadn’t seen in awhile.

“Mama, how are you? What have you been up to?”

“Oh, same ol’, same ol’!”

From the cart…“POOP!”

“Shhh.”

Then Mama started to think about it…looked around and realized we were standing in the diaper and wipe aisle and Baby Boy was right — Mama has been up to her eyeballs in POOP.

One cannot imagine how much poop Mama deals with in a day.

There’s baby poop — which is expected.

Preschooler poop — at 3 1/2 one would expect that he would like to go on the potty like a “big boy.” If you thought that — you’re dead wrong. He much prefers to poop in his underwear at least 2-3 times a day. Sometimes the underwear survives. Sometimes (okay, most of the time) it doesn’t. We spend a healthy amount of money at Target on Cars underwear. In fact, today Mama was greeted by not only poopy underwear but a poop smeared all over the toilet, bathtub and walls as he proceeded to “wipe” his bum-bum with a whole package of flushable wipes. Mama also prefers to invest in gloves and Oxi Clean.

Other poop — why, oh why do kids forget to FLUSH the toilet???!!! Potty-training never ends, does it?!

Poop talk — the word “poop” alone is enough to send Baby Boy and Lily-girl into fits of giggles. Every joke has poop in it, every song is sung with poop in it, every other word is poop. Mama has tried to ban potty talk but really, when one is potty-training and you’re asking the tot if he needs to go “poop on the potty” every five minutes…it doesn’t work to ban it.

Dog poop — they poop too and of course, Mama has to clean that up.

Then sometimes there’s the poop that happens in the bathtub. Ick, Mama knows…but it’s nothing a little bleach can’t handle.

Oh, and did Mama mention that this all happened yesterday?! Poop is definitely ruling Mama’s world right now.

Sure we will all look back and laugh at these moments years from now but for some reason, Mama is just feeling poopy about it all right now.

Make Mama smile through all this poop…what’s your best kid poop story?

Just like your Mama…!

It’s hard to shock Mama these days because really, there are a lot of strange people in this world. Mama could be classified as one of them but as Mama likes to say, “to each his own.” However, when it interferes in your daily life then it also becomes your problem. Like the neighbors that want to play bongo drums in their underwear at midnight…that is strange behavior but also your problem if it keeps you and the kids awake (note: Mama doesn’t have any of those neighbors thank goodness). But a few things have taken Mama by surprise lately when we’ve been out in public…perhaps you can take a look to see if Mama is overreacting a bit…

  • People that go workout for an hour then proceed to go outside and enjoy a cigarette. Same goes for hospitals. Perhaps they haven’t seen the anti-smoking campaign ads?!
  • Last week we saw a Mama fill up a baby bottle full of Coke-Cola and give it to her 12 month old sitting in the stroller. Well…that’s one way to keep them quiet…!
  • A lady and her son decided it was okay to still be wearing your pajamas at 11 a.m. and strolled into the grocery store for a few things. As a side note to this…it is never okay to go out in public in your pajamas. You are a grown adult and you can at least throw on an old t-shirt and sweats and even if you don’t think they look like pajamas — they do. Kids…well, Mama wouldn’t take her kids out in their pjs but this is up to you on the battles you want to have with the kiddos.
  • A women berating her husband in public because he ate his kid’s goldfish snack (of which there were two more available on the table after he had a few). It wasn’t just that she was yelling at him VERY loudly so the entire park could hear but that it was over goldfish is what Mama thought was strange. This women clearly needs to read Fifty Shades of Grey and get some!

Just a few “odd” behaviors Mama has experienced in the last week…that, and well the fact that Mama realized “OMG, Mama is turning into my own Mama.” A moment of panic and fright set through Mama’s entire body because isn’t that the worse thing that can happen to a 33 year-old women?! Especially when someone actually has the tenacity to tell you!! EEK was Mama’s first thought but let’s back-track for a minute and see why.

As a little girl it’s so flattering to be told that you’re just like your Mama. Old ladies coming up to tell them, “You look just like your Mama!” The little girls smile and beam at them for saying that. After all Mama is so pretty and young.

Then as a teenager you start cringing at the fact that you look just like your OLD Mama. You’re lucky if you even get an eye-roll back at the statement and sometimes people will tell you that you are just like your Mama when she was that age. That’s completely more acceptable to a tween.

As a young adult you are trying desperately to find out who you are and you know that you are NOTHING like your Mama. You would never wear high-waisted jeans to cover your muffin-top (unless it was in fashion), have permed your hair in the ’80s, clipped coupons to make ends meet, go to garage sales on the weekends and make soup. There is NO way that you would ever do that…until one day you do.

Well, let’s just say Mama is not wearing high-waisted jeans, sporting a perm, or clipping coupons (that’s another story) but SOUP. Mama made soup.

Mama has never been a huge soup fan. While, yes, Mama does enjoy a hot bowl once in awhile on a cold day, it’s not usually an entree of choice. Probably because as a child we ate soup often. Soup was a cheap and easy meal that you can make out of whatever ingredients you have in the fridge. Mama’s Mama is a master at that therefore, soup is off the menu at Mama’s house. However, the husband was once again out of town and Mama decided to make a new recipe viewed on Pinterest (damn that Web site for making Mama make soup!). It was an easy soup for one. Mama made it. It was delicious…until Mama looked down at the empty bowl and had the realization that we can never escape where we came from.

Mama made soup and realized…it was just like Mama did.

Then Mama raced upstairs and read the rest of Fifty Shades of Grey…something Mama’s Mama would never to do just to make sure Mama wasn’t completely morphing into a sixty year-old woman. That and well, this Mama will still pay full price for something that’s a must-have!

Are you just like your Mama?

 

 

Playground lessons…

Before you can even say it, Mama knows…it’s been WAY too long. However, this thing called “life” has finally caught up with Mama and getting to the computer to share Mama’s every little thought and moment has proven way more difficult than when there was just two of them. Now, there’s no such thing as a free hand…they’re busy…all the time until finally…finally they all go to sleep and even then Mama falls asleep herself with a blinking blank screen before her. But now….it’s SUMMER time around here and Mama is vowing to get back on track in all aspects of life.

We had a graduation…a big graduation. Lily-girl is no longer in sweet kindergarten but is now in the big time — first grade.

Baby Boy is finally in his big boy underwear — it’s still a work in progress…#2 has proven very difficult for him and Mama should take stock in Target underwear.

CeCe at six and half months has learned to crawl — baby-proofing is on the agenda.

It’s been changing times around Mama’s household but yet…they still manage to amaze Mama every single day. Let’s take a look, shall we?!

It’s amazing that she’s only six, yet has the attitude of a sullen fourteen year-old. Every day brings a new challenge, yet this amazing attitude and all-around sassiness has really thrown Mama for a loop. Isn’t it something that is gradually supposed to happen and not all at once?! In fact, today Mama saw her do “three snaps in a ‘Z’ formation”…remember that from In Living Color (when J.Lo was just a fly girl…gosh, Mama is OLD).

It’s happening right before Mama’s eyes and well, the other half is happening on the playground at school. Oh, yes…the things that she has learned from the playground are astounding…and well, let’s just see what she’s been hearing in the last week.

She learned the word – PENIS. Yes, a part of the male anatomy but clearly not something they are teaching in kindergarten science. Mama asked her where she heard that word (hoping it was from us) and she said her friend at school said it. Playing it cool, Mama asked her if she knew what it meant, she did because she used it in the right context. Fine, it’s true your brother does have a PENIS and yes, you did in fact “sit” on it but let’s try and use it sparingly and preferably not in public, okay?!

Then came the word…SEXY. She could not possibly know what this word means and where did she hear this one. The playground again? Or was she reading Mama’s Fifty Shades of Grey book (please be the former…otherwise there are worse things in there than just this word)? In fact, a mom at school came up to Mama and said that Lily-girl called her son SEXY and she had to explain to him what it meant. Uh-oh. Mama asked and she again, said she heard it on the playground. Mama asked her if she knew what it meant — she didn’t really because she said she was going to have a “SEXY Summer.” Not quite Lily-girl. Mama proceeded to give her the talk about not using words that you don’t know what they mean.

Next on the famous word list was…JUST SAYIN’. Really? Mama does not use this saying at all. In fact, Mama finds it absolutely annoying and almost would rather hear her say the “S” word than this. While, it’s not technically bad, Mama said just don’t say it. Period.

WHAT THE…? Yup. That was next on the list. Innocent as it may seem since the sentence or question as it may seem doesn’t really get an ending. The expression again, Mama finds quite annoying, could be finished with any matter of words — the “F” word, hell…Mama prefers it not be said at all. Mama asked where this one was heard — a movie that the grandparents let her watch. One animated movie rated “PG” apparently. Note to self, find this movie and toss it in the trash. It’s bad enough refereeing all the words heard on the playground and now an expression from an animated movie — Mama must make her walk around with earplugs from now on. Mama told her there will be penalties if this is used again…

There are more from Lily-girl but now Mama turns to Baby Boy…

Baby Boy: “Mama, my pee-pee hurts!”

Mama: “Do you have to go to the bathroom?”

We scramble to the bathroom…

Baby Boy: “Oh, Mama look…it’s BIG!”

Trying to ignore the obvious, yes it was “up.”

Baby Boy: “I have MORNING WOOD!”

Awesome…where did he learn that?

Baby Boy: “Daddy taught me that!”

Oh boy, a Mama’s job is never done…is it? Thank goodness the littlest one can’t talk yet but you never know, her first word might be one of these if we’re on the playground long enough.

 

Big top dreams…

Mama hopes all of you Mamas had a wonderful Mama’s Day celebrating with your littles. While apparently the Swiss don’t celebrate Mother’s Day because they have held the hubs hostage for that American celebration for the past five years, Mama was celebrating alone with the three kiddos. While some say it’s just another day…Mama is still trying to figure out if it was a good day or not.

Some husbands believe that the day is solely about celebrating the “mother” — their mother and NOT the mother of their children. Others (the smart ones) send their well wishes, flowers and cards to their mother but they also celebrate their wife and the mother of their children. Mother’s Day is about celebrating anyone that is a mother as Mama sees it. You celebrate all of them.

While Mama still has small children, one cannot just take the day off. You are bound to do a dish, change a diaper, read them a story or be on bath duty. Now when they’re a bit older like the tween and teen stage of life, you just want them to spend time with you. So what’s better for Mother’s Day — a day without them or a day with them? Mama is undecided because at this point both sound right. In fact the Mother’s Day Mama had was not what Mama had in mind but just the fact that Mama spent the whole day playing with them and refereeing them will have to do.

On another thought…Mama is absolutely appalled at the idea of getting an appliance as a gift. Some people are not offended, however, Mama thinks that a gift should be something that one would want for themselves but would never splurge on it themselves. An appliance is a need. Is a gift bag full of workout wear a subtle hint?!

Enough of Mama’s day already…the hubs will make it up by taking Mama to see the new Cirque du Soleil production, TOTEM, that is currently in San Diego, NOW through May 27, 2012. Mama is obsessed with Cirque shows and often has dreams of running away with  the Cirque. Headquartered in Montreal, Cirque is an amazing culture in itself having over 50 nationalities and languages but they are all artists.

They are flexible and put on an amazing show that is unsurpassed in beauty. Mama got a behind-the-scenes tour the other day and was amazed to find out that…

  • Cirque is a “green” company and each member has their own coffee mug hanging up backstage with their name on it (who knew?!)
  • When traveling they stay in luxury apartments with their families. Mama always thought being on tour with a “circus” you live a lonely life…so not true!
  • It takes 160 people and three days to raise the Big Top!
  • They do “school” on tour for those still in elementary, junior high and high school and follow the Montreal curriculum where Cirque is based.
  • They hold open auditions for specific acts based on new shows.
  • Each costume is handmade and embellished and takes hours and hours to make. Check out those life-like monkey faces!

Totem is a show about the coming of human life — it’s 2 hours and 30 minutes of pure entertainment that will make your mouth drop open in AWE and AMAZEMENT. We’re doing a date night to see the show but it’s also kid-friendly and perhaps they’ll come home saying they want to “join the Cirque”…just like Mama!

Tickets are currently available in San Diego, visit www.cirquedusoleil.com. See you there!

Pregnant?! (giveaway)…

It’s hard to believe that six short months ago, that was Mama waddling across the parking lot. Today, Mama looks at those women with burgeoning bellies and thinks, “WOW…was that really Mama?” You give them a look of pity, a look of awe and a look of bewilderment and surprise all in one. While Mama is not really one to complain since Mama’s pregnancies were so very textbook, it’s actually quite ridiculous how good they went…but the minute you pop that baby out all the nauseous moments, all the uncomfortableness, all the baby weight, all the stomachaches…they all just melt away (well…if only for ONE moment). Seeing and meeting your baby for the first time after spending nine close months together is a moment that no Mama ever forgets. It’s worth waiting for!

This month we celebrate Pregnancy Awareness Month (PAM) to empower, inspire and build a community of support for pregnant women and their families. No-one should feel like they are alone in the decisions they need to make involving the birth of a child and providing that information to them and their families is vital to the health and well-being of everyone involved. After having three children, Mama feels pretty empowered to share Mama’s own experiences, learn from ones previous decisions and help you make your own. We are all here for each other and seriously, what’s better than the Internet these days for seeking advice, ranting and what baby gear you just HAVE to HAVE.

This Sunday, May 6, 2012 from 12 p.m. to 4 p.m., Mama is participating in an event celebrating Pregnancy Awareness Month at the Skirball Center in Los Angeles. Exciting, right?! Not only that but you know who’s hosting it (celebrities…because after all it is LaLa-land)…Josie Maran (love her Argan Oil cosmetics), Lisa Loeb (famous for the song “STAY”), Anna Getty (PAM Founder) and Catherine McCord (Weelicious Founder and PAM Advisor). Oh, and don’t let Mama forget to tell you that the event is FREE and is geared towards not just the pregnant Mama but also, new Mamas, new Dads, new grandparents and families with young children.

There will be tons of information from top companies in the baby industry as well as toy and gear manufacturers and guests can enjoy a day of pampering (foot massage, anyone?!), crafts for the littles, raffle prizes, style advice from the BumpItUp Style Lounge featuring Anna Tara Koch, and a an expert panel that is sure to excite you because Ricki Lake will be hosting a panel along the lines of her book and movie, “Your Best Birth.” Awesome, no?!

If you’re not in the area, join in via the live streaming coverage on UStream. For more information and to register for the event visit the Pregnancy Awareness Month Web site and invitation. Also, if you can’t make it to this one, there will be other events going on throughout the entire month.

And now for the giveaway thanks to Britax one of the fabulous sponsors of the event, Mama is giving away a Britax Travel Car Seat Cart (value $80). Um, hello…where was this last month for Hawaii?! You’ll definitely want this for upcoming summer vacations because…every Mama could use an extra hand when traveling. Enter below and good luck!

 


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